Old Friends

Do you ever hear songs that remind you of your first love..even if it wasn't quite love but perhaps a love affair or passionate affair and of all the good friends you had and it is as if you are in a moment in time that seemed so wonderful and bad all at the same time? I am sitting here listening to some music thinking of a time before that seemed so long ago but was actually more like 4 years ago. This past week I was contacted by an old friend and she doesn't quite agree with some decisions I have made; this affected me in a way I didn't think it would. Talking to her stirred up so many memories..some sad, some regrets, and happy times. I expected her to be how she was four years ago and I think she thought I would have been too. It is amazing with how people change overtime and how things don't always go quite as you planned. I would hope that I have grown up and matured in the four years since we hung out and sometimes I wonder if I really have. We both were friends in a city that we moved out of and that city represents my maturing process I think. It is a place that to me will always be where my youth is and leaving it was like me leaving home..maturing. Going back would never be the same and the people I knew are gone; some still there but they too have moved on. It is as if I think of that place as frozen in time with who I was. I am grateful for the lessons I learned but I am happy with where I am at now and although I have made mistakes in the past year; hurtful mistakes; I would like to think that I am better than the person I was in that place. It jsut goes to show that we really can't change the past and would we really want to if we could because who would we be now if things were changed? Would you change anything and who would you be now if you did? Probably not the same and better left unknown.