Monday, September 03, 2012

Getting Past the Past

At some point I have to let go of the anger and extreme great sadness I feel over what happened with Katherine, CPS, the  courts, and being seperated from the kids. I can not keep letting it affect me the way it does. This past summer was very hard me; I don't know if it was having Kat every day or just the whole experience. There were literally days when I couldn't get out of bed until 11 am or noon. It has been two years since our experience with CPS has been over; 4 years since it all began and yet it still feels raw. It is as if it happened yesterday. I have realized there are no easy answers; things happen that can not always be explained. I can say one thing, Micau and I are stronger than we ever were. The Chambless family is stronger; everyone came together; his parents, his siblings, all pitched in. The kids were not taken from the family no matter how hard CPS tried to get them out. I am grateful for that. I am grateful for the blessings we had during the experience: people in our congregration who prayed for us, Roz who supervised our visits and once got to know the situation was so helpful, the woman who did the supervised visits in Beeville, she was a strong christian who prayed for us, and a few others who can not be mentioned but deserve to be. God was present and helped us get through. Life isn't always fair; sometimes it just is what it is. We all need to accept that bad things happen, not to other people but in our own lives. Once we stop asking the whys and instead say thank you God for helping us and for the blessings you placed in the situation can make all the difference of making it through and getting past whatever situation you are in. It is my choice on how I deal with my circumstances and I have chosen to let it bother me anymore and instead say Thank You God for all that you do.
Psalm 103:2-5a
Bless the Lord my soul, and do not forget all his benefits-who forgives all your iniquity, who heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit, who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy, who satisfies you with good as long as you live...

1 comment:

Gloria Patty said...

I don't know any details, but your words express the pain of your past and the peace of your future. You are in my prayers.