Kyle and the Weather

Well it started pouring down rain here at 7 am. Guess our cool front came in early...the news said slight showers then said we were on a severe warning until 1 pm. So there ya have it. Anyways, I had to call his doctor this morning because Kyle woke up with a fever and a rash. He got the fever on Sunday even though he was already on an antibiotic since Wednesday for his chest congestion, ear infection and sinus infection. So we scheduled an appointment at 10 am. Now his office is about 15/20 min from where I live. I figured leaving at 9 would get us there on time. Nope. Traffic was stopped and not moving once I reached Mopac (a loop highway here) and I spent 1 1/2 hours in traffic. Yep. Lauren cried so I have to feed her. With one hand on the wheel (weren't going anywhere anyways) and my other arm reaching behind my chair to hold the bottle in her mouth is how I drove for about 25 minutes. Of course during that time we only moved about 2 inches. Finally we get through the lights and finally get on Mopac...the holdup you ask...not a damn thing. Traffic was just heavy and it was raining..excuse enough for traffic to be bad here in austin. Its pouring down rain.
So we check in and since he has a rash we have to be put in the treatment room (can't be in the sick room because rashes are contagious)..I guess. Doc sees us and ask the usual questions. She looks him over and says well he doesn't have a fever now..no shi# shirlock..i gave him some tylenol because I didn't want my kid running around with a high fever. She says he looks alright but his ear infection looks a little worse. Then she checks his mouth and was like whoa...he had all these bumps in his mouth and the rash and it looked really red. She says strep throat. She took a culture and says the result will be back tommorrow afternoon and if its strep throat for sure then she will call in a prescription for him. In the meantime and just in case she gave us two doses of omnicef for him to take. Great. Strep thoart. I asked how the heck does he get this while on an antibiotic? She can't say. Sometimes viruses just linger. Whatever. So now we have something new to deal with. Guess I should be thankful he doesn't have cancer or need a transplant but I do wish he didn't get sick so much.
On the way back run into traffic again. This time I take the frontage road since I take I35 home..it was alot faster even with the lights. The problem this time..3 cop cars had a semi pulled over and was giving the driver a DUI test. On top of bad weather and crazy people we have to worry about semi drivers being drunk or stoned. Yipee. And even though they were pulled over to the side..it ties up traffic for about 5 miles before you reached it. It would have taken be about an hour to get through that..it must have just happened too because the frontage road was still clear. Of course, this being Austin/Round Rock it is going to be like this all day. On the radio there were 5 accidents..this morning there were too many too count but there was one fatality way down in south austin that had I35 closed down going north. That is just bad. So I think I will not go anywhere today. Days like this you only go out if it is an absolute must. The joy of living in a big city.

The Store (HEB) Vent

There is an HEB (our grocery store) right up the road from where I live..I usually don't have any problems with them. Yesterday, however, I was really upset when I went grocery shopping. There are about 10 items on my list that they didn't carry anymore. We aren't talking about special items..just normal things. German choc. cake frosting, the stocker said they weren't carrying it anymore; the 409 refill bottle...said they don't carry it anymore; the slivered almonds..nope don't have 'em...the fruit was really icky looking so I only got some apples and bananas. There were other things but I was just so upset. How can you carry only three flavors of frosting (choc., strawberry, vanilla); its so ridicilous. I called Micau to vent and then he called me back after like 20 minutes and said the next time I am in the store to talk to Chad..he is the assistant store manager and they like to hear about things like that. He stated to Micau that the store is really short staffed and they have a lot of new people who may not know where things are or exactly what they carry. Good, now if only I could get a discount out of it.

Church today

Church today was inspiring. I really like this church, even though it is only my second time going I do believe I finally found a church for our family...it is a bit of everything and welcomes everyone plus it is a small church. There is a moms' bible study on friday mornings and then a discipleship bible study on sunday evenings and they even have one for katie's age group which meets on wednesday's at 4. She wants to participate in the christmas pageant which I think is great. She really loves the children church. I just wanted to say that I finally found our place of worship which is an answer to a very long time prayer. Thank you Lord.

Shot Day

Friday was Lauren's 4 month shots. Wow. I can't believe its been four months already. She is getting so big on us. Her weight is 13.7 lbs and her height is 24 inches. She is in the 50th percentile for weight and 25th percentile for length. When I was reading the sheets the doc hands out at these checkups about where they should be and what they should be doing I was a bit surprised to know that she should be eating about 8 times a day 6-8 oz. My little one hasn't moved beyond eating 2-4 oz a sitting...and she eats about 8-9x a day. She actually just started sleeping through the night..occaisionally she wakes up around 2.00 am to eat about 3 oz but most of the time she can sleep from 11-6...give or take a 1/2 hour. Although she is scooting and rolling over, she is nowhere near sitting up on her own. At this time we don't feel the need to introduce solid food which is weird because Katie was eating cereal at 4 months and kyle at 3. It is very different having a petite eater instead of a power eater. She is so unique and alert..she pays attention to everything. She loves looking at brightly covered pages in books or magazines and even will watch the tv or the computer when we play music and it does the flashes to the beat. She is just so interested in everything. Happy 4 months baby girl.

Little Bit of Everything Part 2

At 9.00 pm on Wednesday I decide to take a bath to help alleviate my headache. But first I must step on the scale. 191. WTF. Two days ago I was at 189..i was upset. Well I had to go to the potty (okay a bit vulgar but I had business number two to take care of). I thought well that was alot so I decide to step on the scale again...188.5. Yep. Teaches me to not weigh myself until after bathroom time..lol.
Anyways...I did feel better after my bath and watched a little bit of the Daily Show with Micau. Okay side note...what is up with Foley..he is just coming up with so many excuses for what he did..it is so freaking annoying. Its like let me put all this stuff out there and whatever the public believes I will stick with it. Did you know that on Fox when showing his pic showed him as a D..lmao. And why all the comparison between him and Clinton? Excuse me but I think IM young boys is far worse than having an affair...but maybe I am wrong in this belief. Okay enough of that.
At 4 am I wake up with Lauren and am still in pain. Going back to sleep doesn't help. I decide to go ahead and workout..i take it easy with no running or walking..I do the elliptical and one set of my ab/back moves and the weights. I don't feel better. Micau comes home for lunch and takes the rest of the day off. We talk about what it might me and I realize that I've been having some flashbacks of memories and its not really a migraine but a tension headache. We talk, I cry, I feel a little better..we both take a 2 hour nap. At Katie's soccer practice, Micau and I walk for about thirty minutes and I feel so much better. I guess maybe because we were outside or maybe it was just having him there to talk to.
He is upset because he just found out that his son Geoffrey doesn't want to go to our wedding. He doesn't want to force him to go but really wants him to be there. We are going to trade him being at our wedding to him being at Katie's birthday party. She really wants him to come to her party and Micau said she wouldn't understand him not being there. He is so anger at us...he hates the fact that I and the kids are around..he wants to be the only child still. I dont' know how long he is going to harbor ill feelings about us. It is upsetting for Micau because he really misses spending time with him. He is turning 16 this month and Micau is taking that weekend off from work. He refused to go to Houston with us. He doesn't want to be around me, Katie, Kyle and the baby. That hurts me because I feel like if it wasn't for us then Micau would have time with his son back...but Micau always tell me how lonely he was before me and how happy he is that he has us. We just don't know what to do about his son. Tips or ideas anyone?
Anyways, by the time we are done with our walk I feel much better. My headache is gone..my body feels good..i feel good. We watch the rest of the practice. They were doing a scrimmage game..boys against girls. Well Katie was hanging out by the goal in defense position (heaven forbid she actually runs)..the ball was kicked high and coming straight at her and what does my lovely daughter do? She covers her face, moves out of the way and screams. Funny but not during an actual game. This going on with my son walking around lifting his shirt up to show his belly while putting his hand down his pants so he can touch his penis. The joy of having a boy.

A Little Bit of Everything Part One

Yesterday was Muffins for Mommy at Katie's school and she really wanted me to go. It was cute..we got to eat together before her class and afterward they were having a meeting for the moms. They were telling us about a new parent outreach resource center. I was too tired to really pay attention and left once the questions started up because I was just so bore and tired. I did enjoy the morning with my daughter.
We had to take Kyle to the doctor yesterday because he has been sick for about 3 weeks straight and keeps reinfecting Lauren. Guess what? Yep, another darn ear infection in his right ear where the tube has almost fallen out. We caught it early so it wasn't too bad and that explains his extra fussiness and his wanting to be cuddled all the time. He also has chest congestion and a sinus infection. She gave one medicine (a 5 day treatment) and said it should wipe out everything. I am so scared that we are going to go back to having ear infections again. She said that if he gets over this one and gets another one then he may need tubes again. Happy Happy Joyful..lol.
Get back from the doctor appointment and get everyone settled by the time Katie gets home from school. She comes in with a little bag..i asked her who gave her the gift bag and she said it was out in front of our door. I opened it and there was a note that said Thank you for attending our church and hope to see you again..it was from Grace and it was a banana nut bread. It is very yummy. I was so touched that they would take the time out to drive here and do that. I felt all warm and fuzzy inside. I reallllly like that someone would be so considerate. Definately want to go back to that church.
Well I had been suffering a headache throughout the day and by supper time it had turned into a migraine. My head hurt so bad...i had been taking excedrin migraine all day and nothing..no relief. I could barely eat dinner. On top of that I had to go out and get Kyle baby food..it wasn't too bad except for Lauren crying the whole time. Katie stayed home with Kyle since Francis came over to play with Kyle. Micau and I went to the library to get more books and to go get Kyle food. By the time I got home I felt like crap. It was 8.00 and Katie and Francis and just started playing a game. I get Kyle ready for bed and was little annoyed that he was still up but I understand that putting him down can be difficult. He goes out before I am even out the door. Katie is done playing the game, takes her shower and I put her down. Thought that was that except she is giving major attitude. I ask her what is wrong three times and she finally starts crying and breaks down that she felt ignored all evening and how she wants to be an only child and then says that she never wants to leave..to be taken away. She doesn't want Micau to leave. I'm like no one is going anywhere. I ask why she thinks that and she just says that she doesn't want to be taken away. Lovely. Wonder where that came from. I get her calmed down and rock her to sleep.

Fitness

Tuesday I went to the gym and got a session with a personal trainer (i had 1/2 coupon). I bought my new workout moves for your abs/back and for upper body. The lady I met with does the pilates class and alot of the moves were pilates (didn't realize this). Anyways she gave me some good pointers and modified moves for a couple of them because she said they were pretty advanced moves even for her. She showed me how to work my core throughout the day. I am so glad that I met with her because I realized that there were some mistakes I was making with some of my normal routines (lunges, squats, and even the weight machines). I realized that it doesn't really matter how much you read or think you may know about something...sometimes it does help to have a professional show you exactly what you should be doing to get the most out of your moves/workout. I was really happy with it and it only cost be $15. Now if I can only remember everything she said...lol.

Update Part 2/Sunday

I had promised Katherine during the week that we would go to church on Sunday since we hadn't gone in like 2 weeks. Well I get up and for the third sunday in a row really don't feel like going...we've been going to Shoreline (2 hour service) because I hadn't really found another church. Katie really wants to go to chuch. So I look in the round rock phone book under churches. Micau refuses to attend a baptist church and I'm not really into evang. so I look under Presbyterian. We went to one when I lived in south austin and really liked it. I like the smaller churches better than the ones that are really huge. Well I decided to attend Grace. It is only like 6 minutes away from where I live. We go and I didn't realize it was World Communion day. The church was letting the youths do the service. It was really neat. They were all dressed from attire around the world. They quoted people like Ghandi, Maya Angelou, and some other influential people. Katie loved the children's church. We decide to try it again next Sunday. We go have lunch with Micau and then go home and try to relax. Kyle and Lauren on fussy on the whole 20 minute drive home and I am ready to pull my hair out. Lauren hates being in her car seat and hates being in the car. Kyle was just fussy; he's not feeling well.

Update Part 1

You ever have one of those days when you know you should have just stayed in bed? That was my Saturday. First we get up and I make a nice breakfast. Get everyone ready to go to Katie's soccer game which I believe is at 9.00 am. We get there about 15 min. early...Her coach has another team and they are still playing on the field. His wife and kid that is on Katie's team is watching the game. 9.00 passes. At 9.20 the game ends...coach walks over to me and says aren't you here early. I'm like the game is at 9.00 right? Nope its at one. I have a crying baby..a fussy Kyle and its so freaking humid out. The wife/daughter couldn't have walked over to us and told us..instead of making us wait 30 min in the humid hot sticky weather. So I felt like an idiot. So I take Katie home to change to go to the musuem since it is free musuem day (nationally). I get halfway there and call the musuem to see how busy it is. Guess what..they are charging...they aren't participating..u freaking kidding me. The State capitol of Texas isn't participating in the National Musuem Day? Pisses me off because I just wasted a bunch of gas. So I turn around...call Micau to tell him. He says to go meet him at work. I say okay except brain freeze and can't remember how to get out there. I call him but get his voice mail. I drive. He calls back and I've already passed the exit and have turned around to go home. I am so frustrated he's like come out and i'm like no I just want to go home. I decide to get a blizzard (i see a DQ) and pull into the drive through except there are like three cars in front of me. The car in front of the car in front of me takes like 10 min to order. Then it takes another 10 min for them to get the food out. I am sitting in a drive through for about 25 minutes. I feel like screaming. (Mind you the kids are being fussy too). Finally I get our blizzards (one for Katie and one for me) and head home. It must be idiot day because I run into several on the way back. Finally I get home, get Lauren out of her carseat and start rocking/feeding her. Katherine does her reading and times attack (math game) while Kyle just hangs out. I watch Ugly Betty (missed the premier episode and it was on again that morning) while rocking lauren. She smiles at me, talks to me and is just being so precious that my frustration and anger slips away. I am relaxed and calm. Then time for Katies soccer game. The other team playing on the field is running late because the refs are treating like a pro game (dumbass its little kids...geez)..anyway I walk around with the double stroller while the coach makes the kids do drills. I walk in the freaking hot humid sun for about 20 min. when the game starts. I set up under a shady tree. An elder woman (grandma to one of hte kids on the team) sits next to me because she takes meds and she can't sit in the sun. We have a nice conversation while watching the game. Surprisingly the kids aren't fussy. Katie's team won 3-1. Yea.
Needless to say the afternoon and evening turned out much better than my morning. I was ready to kill somebody but after just taking a chill hour holding my baby I calmed down. Although the kids can be the ones to drive you crazy; they are also the ones that can bring resting calm to you.

Netflix

We joined Netflix last month and I love it. Every time we are done with a movie we send it back and we get a new one..they are really fast...we get one within 4 days of returining it. Not only that, they have most movies when they come out on DVD and they have a huge selection of movies. Including all my oldies that I love.
The nice thing is that we don't go out to see movies...having Kyle and the baby makes it difficult to go and see them. Katherine doesn't mind waiting to see the movies she likes because she now has her own TV with DVD and a VCR (our old ones that are real slow and barely work) so she can watch them whenever she wants or right before bedtime. She only gets to do that on the weekend. She doesn't watch much tv during the week, between soccer practice, homework, and doing her chores...doesn't leave much time for tv. Maybe that's why she is always wanting to watch it. Anyways, she stopped complaining about never getting to see movies now. We have a whole bunch in our que and I think half of them are for her.

Support Group

I've decided to join a support group. I've been reading this book on my own and trying to deal with things by myself but I think the time has come to join a group. The only problem is trying to find one. I called the only two places listed in Austin/Round Rock that have them and neither one is doing one for adults right now; And the waiting list to see a counselor is 2-4 months (of course it is free so really can't complain). I can't believe in our city as big as it is and it being the state capitol and all that these are the only places; I heard from someone I know that churches and the Y also have some and she is supposed to get back to me with that info. In the meantime, it is sit and wait. I really want to do this so hopefully I don't lose hope. I usually get excited about something and if it doesn't happen right away I can get pretty darn negative.

My Workout Today

I started off my going to the female area of the Y. Our Y has a whole room just for females to work out in..has treadmills, ellipticals and of course machines and some free weights. I don't know why I decided to go there today...usually i work out in the main area. Anyways, I started by doing my walking. After my warm-up I went to run but after a minute my leg was hurting and I couldn't keep myself motivated to run so I slowed down..way down to 3.0. I just walked at that pace for the rest of the time. I was feeling good about my workout but I just wasn't into it. Afterward, I went to do my Fitness Mag. routine but I was dreading doing it. I was going through the motions hating it. When I finished the first round I just started crying. I don't know why...I cried for like 10 minutes..have no clue what got into me. I decided to calm down and cycle. I got on the cycle and after 15 min started feeling better and by the time I was done I felt energized. I picked the kids up and drove home. I'm sitting here trying to figure out what happened. I am just going to chalk it up to a slight case of the baby blues. LOL.

Dentist Visit

Today Kyle had his first dentist visit. They really didn't do much. He sat on my lap and the doctor had to kind of pry Kyle's mouth open because he kept wanting to keep his teeth clenched. Then he cried because he didn't want the dentist's finger in his mouth. He said his teeth look good but we do need to brush and floss his teeth to prevent cavaties. Since he doesn't eat grown up food and we only put water in his sippy cup at night we aren't too worried. He gave us some tips on how to brush his teeth since he is so fussy about it. He said at this age it only really needs to be done once a day...usually before bed. For the five minutes it took for him to look at Kyle it was 72.oo...isn't that ridiculous? Guess have to pay off that student loan somehow...lol.
Katie also had her checkup today. She did great. She has one itty bity start of a cavity on her lower tooth in the back...he said that all they have to do is put some sealant on it and it will be fine so she goes back in November.
Speaking of dentist...did anyone catch that segment on GMA this morning about the little five year old girl who went into coma after getting her 2 cavaites filled? Pretty interesting but to me it seemed like they were "scaring" parents into thinking this is a real problem..they aren't even sure why she went into a coma...the mother is saying the dentist "OD' her daughter. I don't think so...she was probably just allergic to it. Just something to think about I guess.

Green Bean Fight

Last night for dinner we had green beans with our meal. My lovely daughter decides to eat almost all of her food except for her veggies. I tried getting her to eat the beans with her chicken but she kept shaking her head and clamping her mouth shut. I told her no dessert, I told her no tv but she still refused. Short of having to force them down her throat she finally ate 4. Yes, I only gave her 4 to eat and she made it into an ordeal. She told Micau he was mean. She glowered at me and told me I was mean. We are so cruel for making her eat her veggies. When she ate all 4, she was made to take a shower and then had to go to bed. She went to bed without saying goodnight and with that look of I will hate you forever. I am always saddened when she says and does things like that but I guess you know you are doing your job as a parent when you hear those things every now and then. Children aren't going to like you all the time; sometimes they will hate you; but eventually they learn that you are doing what is best for them..or at least I hope so. You can't always be thier friend...so when my daughter says I hate you I know that she loves me and she is just angry for a little while...and she knows that I love her because I make her do things or I don't let her do things...that is how she knows I care for her.

Stuff

Last night Katie's dad dropped off all of her stuff that he had at his place. He is moving out and in with a friend so he didn't have room for everything. What you should know is that his exgirlfriend had bought Katie alot of clothes. Most of the items are from the limited too, arizona jean co., a girls boutique store, gymboree, etc. This is high dollar stuff. I buy Katie's stuff from Walmart and Target which according to her dad, aren't good enough. So I am sorting through the clothes and boxes and I find some books that his ex got Katherine. There are two books about growing up...getting boobs, starting your period, and questions about sex. I was really upset. I know that her dad and the ex aren't together anymore but I had a real problem with her buying Katie books like that without asking me. Its one thing to ask me if she could talk to her about but an entirely different matter if she was just going to talk to her with out consulting me first. I am her mother; not her who wanted to be Katie's mother. (Sidenote..the ex was pushing Chris to obtain custody of Katherine and there was alot of arguing over the summer as a result...she even called CPS on us for neglect because in order to take custody away from me he would have to prove there is something wrong in the household...anyway he broke up with the ex shortly after the CPS incident). I think she wanted to play being mommy without having any kids herself (she was 22 or 23). Anyways, I was just really upset and I shouldn't have been because they aren't even together; but for some reason I had a hard time letting go of the anger. Micau says its because I'm very possessive of Katherine and I feel threatened when another woman tries to come into the picture. Maybe so. It was just me and Katie for so long that we are pretty attached to each other and the idea of having someone explain the facts of life to her just doesn't sit well with me.
So anyway, as far as the clothes that don't fit...i'm offering them to some friends of mine. As for the books...I thought Katherine and I could read them together. There are other books and toys that need to be put up. There were clothes that she hasn't even worn yet; they had the price tags still on them. I better run and do the 8 or so loads of laundry I have to do. Later.

Pizza Party

Katherine's best friend had her 10th birthday party yesterday. They held it at Chuck E Cheese. What I don't like about having parties at those kind of places is that it always feels like they are rushing you out. The parents were expecting about 15 kids to show up but only 10 did. Katherine had a blast playing the games; she didn't really care for the food..she just wanted to play. Not that I blame her. Have you tried their pizza. Yep gross. But it was better than eating nothing at all. I regretted eating the 4 small slices I had; I was going to get a salad but their bar was 5.00 and all it had was lettuce, carrots, cucumbers, olives, cheese and dressing. And it didn't look very fresh. So I had the pizza.
The parents forgot their camera and their older son's camera's batteries were dead. Luckily I had mine and was turned into the designated picture taker...i'm not that great so I hope the pictures came out well enough for them. We are going to make a CD with the pics since I think that is better than emailing them. It was fun. Katherine got to go home with her best friend and they spent the afternoon playing together. Katherine wants her best friend to stay friends with her forever and I really hope they do.

Baby Died

I went to get my nails done yesterday and at my usual place and I just found out that one of the lady's lost her 4 month old a few months ago. She said that that the baby was sick and she was trying to throw up and she couldn't...it got caught in her lungs/throat and she ended up suffocating. There wasn't much they could do. I hadn't realized she had lost her baby. I felt so bad for her. She played with Lauren a little bit while my nails dried. She looked so sad. I wasn't sure what to say..I told her how sorry I am and she kept saying how much she misses her little girl. She is 46 and said she is too old to try again...it was by chance that she had gotten pregnant in the first place. She just looked so unhappy. It just made me think/realize how lucky I am that I haven't had that happen. I couldn't imagine losing a child...I'm not sure if I am strong enough to go through something like that. Just thought we could say a little prayer for her to help her get through this difficult time.

Soccer Practice

Today was Katie's first practice. We met the coach and he is so much better than the coach she has had in the past two years. He was really into it; running with the kids; playing and kicking the ball around with them. Her last coach would just tell them what to do and sometimes show them but she didn't get involved like he does. His daughter is on the team and she is very good. This saturday is picture day and then the following saturday they have an actual game. She is very excited to be playing again.
Kyle had fun too. He ran around collecting the orange cones which marked the field for each team. He kept running around everywhere and wanted to participate in the practice with Katherine. Unfortunately Lauren wasn't so cooperative. She was very fussy and after thirty minutes of crying off and on Micau took her to the car so the other parents didn't have to listen to her fuss. When we got back to the car she was asleep.
We didn't really meet any of the other parents. They all seem to be in their own world...kind of don't bother me attitude or if they did talk it was mostly how well the practice was going. Not too personable. We were the only people there who had younger children so I guess maybe that made the other parents feel a little awkard. Maybe they will be more personable a little later.

Too Cute

Last week, while I was working out at the Y, the kids were in the daycare. When I went to pick them up, the lady who was rocking Lauren told me that Kyle didn't let her out of his sight. He stood right next to her watching her. Then, after my next workout, the lady said that when Lauren woke up crying, he went and tugged on one of the workers pant's leg, pointed at Lauren and said baby. Again, he watched to make sure she was being taken care of her. A couple of days ago, I had just finished feeding Lauren and he came over and started patting her on the back until she burped. Then he just walked away. Then, when she was laying on the couch, he grabbed her bottle and tried to feed her; instead of getting the bottle into her mouth, he just kept poking her eye. After all this, he did something new. We went swimming today, and on the way back from the pool, he walked on his tippie toes so he could push the stroller himself. He wanted to push the baby. Isn't that the cutest? My little man has really started becoming the big brother.

Kidnapping Brides

I just watched a show on Discovery that depicts how women are kidnapped to be married. This is in a small country called Kergystan (sp?). Even though it is illegal it happens alot, usually with the bride's family knowing or helping....sometimes the bride's family doesn't know. What the family of the men do is sit around and talk about which girl to kidnap, the men plot it out and the women bake the ceremonial bread. The men then kidnap the girl bring her back to their home and try to convince her to stay..to accept the cermonial headscarf. If the girl refuses she is tagged as someone who is not a virgin or someone not to marry...there have even been incidents where the girl is killed. Although it is illegal, the authorities hardly investigate or arrest the families that do it. It is so ingrained into the culture that many people just accept it. They say it is about respect...beauty doesn't matter...all that matter is if a women respects the husband and vice versa. The woman must be submissive to the man..she gives he takes. Isn't it ridiculous that in this day and age this is still going on? We (Americans) live in a country where we, as women get to vote, get to work, have a say on how many children we bear, can decide what we want to do and where to go; we forget that there are countries out there that have no such rights. Women suffer kidnappings, rape, and abuse in so many places where there is no one to help; at least here there is the law. I will pray tonight for those women who are in such situations.

Marathon Kids

My daughter decided to do the Marathon Kids program this year. I am really proud of her. For those who don't know what it is I'll explain. Its where the kids have to run a full marathon (26.2 Miles) over a 6 month period in 1/4 mile increments. It's a program in Texas to help try to keep our kids fit and exercising. We are the number one state when it comes to children with diabites (sp?). Anyways, my daughter decided to do it to be healthy and to run. Plus it'll help with her soccer. She has a tendency to just stand around or walk after the ball. Today was the kickoff, everyone in the 4th grade ran at the same time. It was held at the UT Stadium, and it was jam packed. After the 1/4 mile run, she was given a water bottle and water, and they had UT athletes doing autographs. My daughter got her water bottle signed by 6 of the girls UT soccer team and by 4 of the UT boys swimming and diving team. She told one of the girls that she wanted to play soccer for UT. She was like good job. You can do it. Katie was so happy. So now, everyday she has to do 1/4 mile after school and I will be right there next to her encouraging her to run (she has a tendency to walk).

Gas Prices

Wow. It is actually at a reasonable price. I was driving home and there is an HEB on the way, the sign read 1.39 for regular. I was like damn, too bad I filled up last night..the price last night was 1.46. I am wondering how long this will last and hopefully it will go down lower. I know that I am fortunate to live in Texas where gas prices are usually lower than in most other states. Back when they kept rising, we were paying 2.89 and my sister out in California was paying over 3.00. So anyways, I just wanted to brag about our low price. Whatcha all payin?

Update

Katherine ran for student council but she lost. Her teacher said the race was real close; a girl named Shanice won. She was a little disappointed but is looking forward to trying again next year. Katie mentioned that when she grows up she either wants to be a scientist or the President; she thinks the President is the neatest person in the whole world and that he has the coolest job. Ah, to be young and believe in our country like that. Wish I still had that same young idealistic point of view. Whatever she decides, we will support her.

Kyle has croup..its this cough that sounds like a dog barking. It is a viral infection so they pretty much said we have to wait it out. We bought a humidifier (ped. said it would help) and surprisingly it did. When I had called the ped. last week, the nurse said that I didn't need to bring them in because their fevers were only at 99 and that temp. really didn't count as a fever. Well, gee if I had known it was going to get worse we could have prevented it...maybe buy a humidifier sooner so he wouldn't get sick. We are hoping that Lauren won't get it. The ped. made it sound like he was a highly contagious person, but I talked to the pharamiscist and looked at a website and they both mentioned that croup really isn't all that contagious.

Lauren, I think maybe getting sick. She has dark circles under her eyes and is starting to cough. So tonight we will put the humidifier in our room to hopefully prevent her getting croup. She now weighs a little over 13 lbs. and is looking good. She has really turned into a chunk. She has the biggest blue eyes and is so alert. Her hair has been doing crazy things lately. She is so funny.

As for me, I have been tired. I wish the kiddos didn't get so sick. Its a good thing I'm not working because I would get fired from any job I had due to having to leave work all the time to take care of them. Plus, Katie has her soccer practice in the evenings and games on the weekend starting at the end of the month. I have been going to gym this week. I'm very proud of myself...my eating habits could be a bit better though. But I have lost some fat in my butt and in my chest; I've also gained some arm strength, on the tricep I am now using a 15 lb weight and bicep a 25 lb weight. Yippee. Although my weight has gone down, I have lost at least 1 in from my waist because my clothes are fitting a little bit looser. Not enought to get into a 14 though. I will try to keep it up. Wish me luck.

As for Micau, he has been working a ton. He doesn't really like going to the gym with me because he doesn't like the treadmill or the elliptical. He really isn't a gym person. Of course, part of it is that he is just too lazy to exercise...he just doesn't care. He's pretty happy with himself..but there is a history of heart problems in his family and I don't want that to be a problem with him. I would like for him to lose at least 20 lbs..he has pretty bad heartburn too and it would help to lose weight. I just gotta keep trying.

Chores

Why does it feel like you are always cleaning your home? Because you always are. I had someone come over yesterday to clean the entire apartment..dust, dashboards, highchair, everything. Looking at my place today you wouldn't think my home had been cleaned in a year. How does it get so dirty in just one day? My kitchen has dishes galore (well that's becasue I cooked), and toys are everywhere..dust has already resettled on the tv and computer, and the bathrooms..well use your imagination..okay they aren't that disgusting. Laundry basket is already full. I feel like I just did laundry (oh wait, I just did two days ago). Ugh. I hate doing laundry. My son has no socks to wear tommorrow and the baby has no outfits. Guess I better do their clothes. My daughter keeps nagging me about pajamas. These are the times when I lay on my bed with my eyes closed thinking of cool days, sparkling sea, fruity drink in my hand and some tanned young hunk asking me if I need a massage. You betcha. Then I open my eyes and see six little eyes saying...momma feed me, momma change me..momma check my homework and I so much want to go back to the hunk. Ah well.

Good Read

I just finished this book call Messiah of Morris Avenue. It was great. This is definately a book to read even if you are not religious. It was about a reporter who didn't have faith and hard time believing in things hearing of a young hispanic man preaching and performing miracles. He meets him and still doesn't believe he is who he says he is. The "messiah" preaches mostly to love one another, even your enemies. Even at the end of the book, after the young man has died he still has a hard time believing and having faith...but the message of the book is what I like. Its all about love..doesn't matter if you believe in God, the bible, or Jesus, if you live by the simple principle to love..then that is all that matters. It is truly a touching and aspiring book to read.

UT Mania

Okay I know I'm not a big college football fan; and I really could care less about the Longhorns (I know..blasphemous) but do we really need all this hype on opening game day? I mean c'mon now. We were at the mall and almost everyone there was in UT shirts, some had their faces/bodies painted in orange. Driving home from the mall, ran into people honking their horns, screaming out of windows (Go UT), waving flags about, some even had their car/window painted. This all in N. Austin/Round Rock. The tailgate party wasn't even up here; it is downtown. As you can imagine though, nearly every sports bar is throwing a UT party..will be having the game on and if they win..usually do some discount drinks. All the clubs will be crowded...people will be driving drunk tongiht. Its ridiculous. They said on the radio traffic was backed (north and south) with people trying to get downtown. The tailgate party started at 5 and the game started at 7. There were people racing on the road trying to get home or the bar in time to see the game. C'mon now. It makes me glad that I am a responsible parent because I don't have to put up with all the crap that will be on the roads tongiht; and I won't be in the clubs (boy will 6th street be bad...almost like halloween) putting up with the stupidity of 20 yr olds. I'm so glad I will be in tonight.

Something Fun

Gotten from a friend:
Some things you didn't know about me:

A) Four jobs I have had in my life:

1. Circle K (cashier/assistant. manager)
2. Child Protective Services-Investigator
3. Secretary/receptionist
4. Being a stay at home mom

B) Four movies I could/would watch over and over:

1. Any Godfather Movie
2. Casino
3. Whatever Happened to Baby Jane
4. Super Troopers

C) Four places I have lived.

1. San Diego, CA
2. Las Vegas, NV
3. Phoenix, AZ
4. Texas (Corpus Christi, Austin)

D) Four TV shows I love to watch:

1. House
2. Top Chef
3. Two and half men
4. Star Trek (yes i'm a trekkie)/Outer Limits (its a tie with these two)

E) Four places I have been on vacation:

1. Vacation for me is just one/two days
2. so I usually go see my family in
3. Beeville TX
4. Colorodo Springs, CO

F) Four websites I visit daily:

1. My email (yahoo)
2. Ebay.com
3. Blogger
4. CNN.com

G ) Four of my favorite foods:

1. Homemade Italian
2. Mexican
3. Chinese Food
4. A yummy out of this world sandwhich w/tomato soup

H) Four places I would rather be right now:

1. Cancun
2. Sleeping
3. In space
4. Hiking

Four friends I think will respon:
Who knows

Football

Well tonight was the kickoff of the season. My hubby loves the Steelers. Been a huge fan since he could walk. He was so happy that the champs won tonight but is upset with how the offense played. At least they won. Of course I think they won on a technicality because one of the touchdowns the guy was out of bounds but the flag wasn't seen by the ref (the challenge) in time so the touchdown was good. Otherwise they may not have been so lucky. Who knows. For me its different. I like football..i don't really have a favorite team. There are teams that I don't watch; I tend to favor the Dolphins, the Packers, and of course the Steelers. I have to.
What I don't understand about my guy is how he can talk on the phone with his brother (who is also a big Steeler fan) through the whole game..sometimes they hang up during half time but not always. They talk about the game, the mistakes and the good plays, all the while shouting at the TV. Why not just call each other after the game? They are on the phone the entire time. Men. Never understand them. LOL. Go Steelers.
On Friday at my daughters school is wear your favorite football team shirt day so she decided to wear one of Micau's Steelers shirts. It looked a little funny this morning..she wearing an x-lg guy shirt..she was so cute.
Yesterday Micau swore that Kyle said football. He doesn't talk yet but he swears he said football..already training him. That's okay because when he was a baby he was so chubby that everyone said he would be a linebacker. My family wanted him to play for UT in college and then go on to play for the Texans. Micau's family wants him to play for UT also, but to go on to play for the Steelers. I say watch and say..he will grow up to be a ballerina and just to piss everyone off also announce that he is gay..flaming gay. (Micau's family is very catholic and mine is antigay). Never try to plan out your kids future..lol.

Rings

I am so excited. We went and got our wedding bands today. We had originally went to Walmart to get rings but we didn't like any of the female gold bands. We had put one on layaway for Micau. So we had been thinking about other places and even looked on ebay. Well I had gotten a mother's day necklace for his exwife last year from James Avery Craftsman and it wasn't too expensive so I thought lets try there. Well that was a great idea. They had the rings we liked at a good price and even had them in our sizes. Our rings were the exact same price too. Woohoo. Now that is over with. I totally love my ring and can't wait until I can wear it all the time. I even had it on for a little while tonight. That's not bad luck is it?

On a side note. The younger kiddos are still sick so we are going to take them to the doctor tommorrow. Lauren is spitting up worse and Kyle just isn't getting any better and its been almost a week now. And while we are there maybe we can get Kyle's neurologist referrel.

My Absence

I know its been a few days since I posted but the computer/internet wasn't working real well. Micau spent a few hours fixing it. The kids were sick all weekend so I have been waist high in poopy diapers, spit up, runny noses and hacking coughs. Whoppee. Friday Micau came home and gave me a hug and was like you smell good. I looked at him like he was crazy because I know I had to reek of spit up. I think he was just trying to make me feel better. Gotta love him. Today they are still sick but feel better. I think they are getting over it. They aren't as sniffly and not coughing as much. I sent Katherine to school, much to her despair. I am such a mean mommy for making her go to school when she is sick. LOL. Just to get them out of the house we went to play putt-putt on Sunday, I also took them to the park and walked. There was a crazy duck that was chasing Katie until Kyle got out of the stroller and started chasing the duck. It was so funny. He wanted to go in after it but I wouldn't let him go into the lake. He got so mad. It was cute. He loved holding the putter when we went to play golf but he kept trying to pick up our golf balls and throwing them so we had to put him back in the stroller. Oh well.

Movie Classics

I love old movies. Today on AMC was Hush Hush Sweet Charlotte and Creature from the Black Lagoon. My fav. movie of all time would probably be Whatever Happened to Baby Jane and Tammy and the Bachelor. I like old movies because there isn't all the gore there is in today's movies; back then people actually had to act; so did the women. It wasn't about getting naked and having sex or showing tits...and the men just couldn't be teenagers and horny. Classics were made by suspense..something missing in today's movies. Plus, romantic movies involved kissing with a hint of what might happen, not kissing and tearing each other's clothes off and jumping into bed. Today's producers don't leave much to the imagination. Don't get me wrong...there are tons of movies that I enjoy watching that were made t oday...I just feel that in today's movies its about being pretty and the willingness to show t&a. If you look at the women who were known back in the 50s and 60s, most weren't skinny skinny and not all were gorgeous. I guess that is a sign of the times. Sigh.

Lunges and Squats

I meant to write this yesterday but didn't have the time. I do a fitness workout everyother day and in this workout is lunges and squats. I know this is a great way to get your legs and butt in shape but I really hate doing them. I don't know why..I just do. I don't have very good balance and I have to hold onto a wall or a post when I go down and come back up. Same thing with squats. I hate doing those too. However, I know that they too really help tone up your butt. Why do the things that work the best have to be such a pain in the butt..lol. The things we do to be beautiful and attractive. Just my two cents.

Baseball game weather

Goodnews. We finally got some rain. Bad news. It was during our first time going to see the Round Rock Express Baseball Team. Yesterday afternoon and this morning it rained. By 11 am it was done. So we decided to go ahead and go to the game. It started sprinkling as we turned into the parking lot. We had to trek about 10 minutes in the rain to our seats; which were in the rain. But there were sections under a canopy so we just moved there since no one was sitting in them. Katherine had a blast. She screamed and bood. Lauren did okay until we had been there about an hour. The rain had stopped about 2o minutes after us arriving but it was really humid. UGH. Well we had to leave around 8.30 due to the baby being fussy and it being a school night; I didn't want Katie up all night because then she'd be hard to get up. When we left, it was in the fourth inning and our team was winning 5-2. Have to check the news in the morning to see if they won. Let youall know later.

Makeup

I live in a city that is in constant spring and summer. We get maybe a week of cold. That being said..I don't understand how women can wear so much makeup when you have 100+ weather with 60+ humidity. I understand wanting to be a professional; but do you really need to layer your skin with so much crap? I do wear makeup on days my skin looks blotchy..i put on a little pit of pressed powder, mascara, and a light color of glazeware (avon); every now and then i will put on eyeshadow. I don't get women who put on concealer, foundation, powder, blush, eyeshadow (like 3 coats), masacara, lip liner, lipstick, and lip gloss. C'mon now. Is there really a need for all that? When you step out into the heat/humidity, your face is gonna melt off. Really. So why bother? Keep it light and simple. Maybe someone can help me understand this. When I see women out, and they are sweating, to me I think its gross to see the makeup sweating off their face. Talk about gross. Oh, and another thing...what's up with wearing makeup to go swimming or to go work out in? Working out on your lunch break is one thing or coming off work I understand. But to put makeup on to go to the gym? Or to go to the pool and sit in the sun? Someone help me understand that one please.

Something Fun

This is mine...I have 2 middle names and since I'm not married but soon will be i used both my maiden and my soon to be married name.
1. YOUR ROCK STAR NAME: (first pet and current street name) Conja Warner
2. YOUR MOVIE STAR NAME: (grandfather/grandmother on your moms side, your favorite candy) Viginia Hershey
3. YOUR "FLY GIRL/GUY" NAME: (first initial of first name, first two of your middle name)
NJA; NCA
4. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (favorite color, favorite animal) Midnight Blue Dog
5. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, city where you were born)
Casper San Diego; Janet San Diego
6. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name, first 2 letters of mom's maiden name and first 3 letters of the town you grew up in.
CHANAVALAS; UNDNAVALAS
7. Terrorist Name: (middle name spelled backwards, your last name spelled backwards)
Repsac Doowrednu; Repsac Sselbmahc; Tenaj Sselbmahc; Tenaj Doowrednu
8.SUPERHERO NAME: ("The", your favorite color, favorite drink)
The Midnight Blue Hawaiin

Katherine's: (It should be noted that favorite color, drink, candy and pet changes daily)
1. YOUR ROCK STAR NAME: Rose Warner
2. YOUR MOVIE STAR NAME: Gloria Wrigley Extra Watermellon
3. YOUR "FLY GIRL/GUY" NAME: KLE
4. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: Blue Killer Whale
5. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME:Lee Rockledge
6. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: Wilkaunaus
7. Terrorist Name: Eel Smailliw
8.SUPERHERO NAME: The Blue Koolaid

Micau's
Your Rock Star Name: Mr. Kitty Warner
Your Movie Star Name: Ray Symphony
Your Fly Guy Name: MJA
Your Detective Name: Navy Blue Cat
Your Soap Opera Name: James Honolulu
Your Star Wars Name: Chamilubee
Terroist Name: Semaj Sselbmahc
Superhero Name: The Blue Rum Coke

The Talk and Ears Pierced

Yep. I had the talk with my daughter. Since she will be ten soon, I decided to talk to her about having a period and test her knowledge of sex and babies. I feel as if it went in one ear and out the other. I got a book to help discuss it with her but its as if she just wasn't interested. I got, I know mom, i already know that, blah blah. But I made sure she heard it all, we went over body part, getting to know the vagina and reproductive system of both boys and girls, how babies are made..which she already knew a little about, and breasts. I also talked to her about the importance of keeping herself clean because she isn't always too good with that. She knew a little more about sex than I thought she did but some of things she thought were just myths, things she heard from friends. The stuff kids believe. I won't say everything. Don''t want to be here all day. Anyways, I cleared some things up and I hope she learned a little. I have a feeling though when she is 10 we will have to go over everything again. BTW, the funniest thing she said is "Mom, I hope my boobs get to be your size." LMAO.
Moving on, my daughter has her ears pierced. Her father did it when she was about 3 or 4 and I've always felt that girls shouldn't have their ears pierced until they are responsible enough to take care of them, around 12. Well it happened. Katherine left the same pair of earrings in her ear for about a month, without taking them out, without turning them, with the post pushed up against the ear, as far back as it would go. Sure enough, the skin grew around the backing. Last night she told me her ear looked swollen. I looked at it and indeed it was. Almost purple looking. Good thing the earrings are sterling silver because there was no infection. Micau had to get the tweezers to get the backings out. There was blood; there was crying. She did well. It will take about 2 months to clear up probably and I am not going to let her get her ears pierced again until she's older. Some will say it is my fault. In a way it is. I should have kept a better eye out on her ears and made sure that she was changing them. I guess I just plain forgot about them. It isn't really that big of deal now; but I hate seeing my daughter in pain and scared. Last night, she was both. Lessons learned.

Lauren's Trip to the Pool

Lauren's first trip to the pool was a few days ago. I forgot to update you all on it. She loved it. We were in the pool for about thirty minutes. She giggled and laughed. I did five or six laps around with her. She kicked her feet and bobbed her head down and almost tasted water. We went about 6.00 pm so it was nice..it was kind of cloudy so the sun wasn't out too much. She had fun. So I thought since she did so well, we would try again today. Guess what? She didn't like it when we first went in; I think she was hungry. So we got out, fed her, rocked her, and she was just enjoying being outside. It was a little windy and loves feeling the wind. Her face lit up when she felt it. So after sitting out for forty minutes we go back in. She had a blast. I walked around the pool with her again, holding her out so she could kick. She laughed and giggled. A couple of times she got scared..but she did great. We went from 11.00-12.30. I let her be in the pool about 30 min...I didn't want her out in the sun for too long because I didn't want her to get sunburned. Then we got out, got changed, ate again, waited until we were dry, then went home. I think she is definately going to be an outdoor type person. She loves it.

Taking care of the kids

You know it isn't as easy as it sounds. Sometimes when I have company over and the house is messy or when I say I stay home and take care of the kids, I get rolled eyes or gee must be nice to sit on your butt all day and watch TV. I wish these people could walk in my shoes one day. I know that I only have 2...other people have 3,4, even 5 at home all at once. I know that when my daughter gets home is when most of the housework gets done because she can help with Lauren and Kyle and that most people don't have that. I wake up at 6 to get Katie out of bed, make breakfast, feed the baby, make lunches, and have everyone out the door at 7. Sometimes Lauren goes back to sleep and will sleep until 8.30 so I will go back to sleep. Kyle wakes up anywhere between 7.30 and 8.30. I will feed the baby again, get Kyle up and fed, then its time to feed the baby again. After that, take a shower, get dressed then Kyle needs to be fed again. By this time it is close to 11. And I switch like that throughout the day. About 4/7 days Kyle takes a nap. Lauren sometimes takes a nap at the same time. I then try to read, do housework, check email, or do my blog. Most days I only have about 30 min-1 hour to get everything done or wait until Katie gets home, does her homework and then hold the baby so I can straighten up the apartment and get dinner started. Its tough. Maybe I am just bad with time management; I don't think so. But for those women out there who think that their job is better and tougher than mine...maybe it is but don't put us down for what we do or how we look because we don't wear a suit and makeup. Sometimes we don't even get to shower until 5 pm or not at all. I used to work too. I did the 40-60 hour work week. I went to school. I have the benefit of knowing both sides. I wouldn't say one is harder than the other...just different. I didn't put down women who stayed home when I worked; I don't put down working mothers. And for the guys out there who think we just sit on our butts watching tv eating bons bons..I wish. Do you have any idea the energy it takes to chase after a hyper/very active two year old and take care of a baby? Do you ever wonder why we look like shit at the end of the day or why we are so tired? Yeah, stay home one day and you'll know why. So if you ever see me out one day, hair all messed up and needing a very bad eyebrow wax, you'll know why; and if you ever come over and the house isn't exactly clean...probably because my son decided all his toys looks better in the living room on the carpet than in his room.

Period

It started this morning. Ugh. Yea, since I know I'm not pregnant (because that would really suck if I was). So I've got the bloating and the cramps and the back pain. Took pamprin; it is my friend (insert smiley face here). I forgot how horrible this darn thing is. Have to keep an eye out on the clock so you know when to change items, have to put up with the cramps, body aches, bloating, and just plain old blah feelings. Not to mention having to keep tampons/pads in your purse in case your out. I really hate it but boy aren't you glad when it comes around? LOL. Felt really fat today. So I really tried to eat right (yea right...if you believe that one then I've got ocean front property in Arizona). I'm in such a great mood..can't you tell. No seriously though, just another part of being a woman.

Overalls

Why do we buy these for our toddlers to wear when we know what a pain in the butt they are?
I bought Kyle a pair of overalls, shorts, that look so cute on him. They are Winnie the Pooh and has a cute orange shirt to match but I can put any shirt on him and it looks fine. The hooks are such a pain in the but to get on and off, and of course pulling the outfit on him is hard to do with him squirming and trying to get it off. My son loves to be naked. In fact when he isn't wearing any clothes and we are changing his diaper, he does his best to get free. After bath time, he takes off running and you literally have to chase him and hold him down to get his diaper on. And of course, while he his naked, he is playing with his penis (and this will never end because men such seemed preoccupied at all times with their equipment...it starts young). He is so fascinated with it that he gets upset the little guy has to be hidden under his diaper.
Sorry got a bit off topic there. Anyways, back to the overalls. They are just a pain in the butt. But I have to admit, he looks absolutely adorable in them. Don't you think? (pic will soon be added...haven't uploaded yet).

Veet

Since it didn't work for Katherine, we decided to use it on Micau's back. No, he doesn't have a hairy back but he does have a patch of hair on one side and then sparse hair on his shoulders. So we thought why not. Side note, why is it when men get older they grow hair in the strangest places..such as in patches on the back or in the ear and nose? So we put it on and yes, friend we pressed hard with the razor and the results.........about the same. All it does is cut the hair. It didn't remove any. So now he has a buzz patch on his back. Maybe it would work better on his leg hair. Sorry hon...u know I love you.

Cancelled Membership

Yep..had to cancel our family membership at the rec center because the daycare doesn't take babies until they are 6 months old. Which the person at the counter should have told us; of course I was dumb enough not to read the playroom rules. Also, you have to pay $2.00 for each child per hour..max 2 hours. I have no problem with that except they don't change diapers, they don't feed the children, and they don't take infants out of their car seats. If they cry for more than 20 min, they will come get you from the weight room and your money is not refunded back to you...nor does the time stop. So if I have to stop my workout, go in and change or feed kyle..the clock is still ticking. I think that is absurd. Hello people, what are you getting paid for? The manager says that if they allowed the employees to feed, change, or hold the infants then the staff would have to be a certified day care place. Umm, shouldn't you be certified to watch children? I have a problem with that. Granted it is only for an hour or two, but alot can happen in that time with young children. So, I decided to cancel the membership. I am still going to take Kyle to toddler playtime because I know that will help him out alot. Now, I will have to do my cardio either when Katherine comes home or wait until after the kiddos are put to bed. I know I won't wake up early enough in the morning. I like to sleep. LOL.

Depression

Why is this such a taboo topic with some people in our day and age? I have no clue. So I will open the door. Yes, I have depression. Especially since the past 4 weeks or so. It comes and goes but the past week or so it has really hit me. See, I have a history of depression and I used to be on meds but stopped taking them. I felt through exercise I could control it. It worked until I got pregnant. Ever since Kyle it seems to have crept up and gotten worse. Especially since with him I was on an IV; with Lauren I was seperated from my ex, had to move twice before finally moving in with Micau. Stressed about money. Stressed about having two young ones at home. Stressed about weight. And this brings me to this past week. I have gained four pounds and for some reason knowing this has put me in a very bad state. Also the fact that we have no idea exactly what we are going to do about the wedding. I have been really stressed out about what to do for some reason. It shouldn't be that way for something that originally no one was going to be at and was just going to be a JP wedding. Everything started getting complicated with no one being happy. So Micau and I decided to not decide anything this month and we will talk about next month, once everyone has gotten used to the idea and the excitement calms down. Then he said he and I will discuss what we want without worrying about what our families want. So thats okay. However, I still feel the pressure to make a decision and I have put pressure on myself to lose weight. Because of this, I think is why I gained. I know it seems crazy to let something like this affect me but it does. I feel better when I feel good about myself; right now I don't feel good about myself. Micau says I look beautiful, that I am attractive and sexy the way I am; I don't need to lose weight. But I feel like I do. So this week I am going to forget about my weight and workout because I want to; because I know it makes me feel good about me. That's what working out is for me. I get to meditate, to pray, to unwind and destress. I have made it into a weight issue. So I am not going to step on the scale this week..hopefully not next week either (I hope I can do this). The scale has become my enemy. So wish me well and if you could keep me in your prayers. Thanks.

Poopy Diapers and Shaving.

Since Wednesday the kids have been sick but it really hit thursday and friday. Both of the younger ones were tag teaming me with the dirty diapers on Thursday...I smelled like poop as did the house. Then on Friday the fevers came along with the runny nose but no the dirty diapers. Lauren's temp stayed around 99 and kyle was just more of a runny nose and coughing. The pediatric nurse was all paranoid saying we should take Lauren in to get checked out. I knew she had a cold and felt it wouldn't be necessary but soon to be hubby was worried. We didn't have a thermoter so he bought and it turns out that, as mentioned above, her fever was only 99.8. Not high enough to have to get her checked out. She seems better today. Kyle is still pretty fussy though.
On another note...my 9 yr old had her first shaving experience this morning. She has really hairy legs and started growing hair in her underarms. We bought her Veet, since it doesn't have a razor, you put the shaving cream on the area, leave it for 3 min, and then use the razor less razor to take off the hair. It did't work too well on katie's legs. We are going to try again tonight. The reason why we are letting her shave is because she is now in the 4th grade and kids can be very mean. My mom didn't let me shave until i was 12 and kids would tease me all the time about my legs. I don't want the same thing to happen to Katherine. So we decided to lt her shave. Her first step to becoming a woman...lol.

From a Friend

From a friend:

1. FIRST NAME? Natasha
2. WHO ARE YOU NAMED AFTER IF ANYONE? From the rocky and bullwinkle show
3. WHEN DID YOU LAST CRY? yesterday...
4. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? at times
5. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? maple ham
6. KIDS? 9 yr old, 22 month old, 9 weeks old
7 IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? Probably
8. DO YOU HAVE A JOURNAL? Just this blog and my bible study notes
9. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT? yes
10. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? I think so
11. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? If I could get over my fear of heights...yes
12. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? too many to choose from
13. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? No
14. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG? I don't think so but pple tell me all that time that I am because of what I have endured.
15. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR? chocolate
16. What's your shoe size? between a 6-8 depending on type of shoe and maker
17. Red or pink? neither i prefer blue
18. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF? my feet
19. WHAT DO YOU MISS THE MOST? Person wise..my sister...body wise..perky boobs
20. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO SEND THIS BACK TO YOU? SURE
21. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? no shoes and i am wearing my pajamas blue and white
22. LAST THING YOU ATE? pb&j sandwhich, yogurt, about 10 lays, 10 goldfish, diet drpepper
23. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? bon jovi
24. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? cerulean (sp?)...its a blue
25. FAVORITE SMELL? the way a baby smells...lol
26. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? My friend barbara
27. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE YOU ARE ATTRACTED TO? Butts
28. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU? Yup
29. FAVORITE ALCOHOLIC DRINK? Blue Hawaiin punch
30. FAVORITE SPORT? Another toughie. Football
31. HAIR COLOR? Brown...all shades
32. EYE COLOR? The prettiest blue you have ever seen..lol
33. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? Yes, I have poor eyesight
34. FAVORITE FOOD? chocolate and italian
35. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDING? scary movies..happy endings are so blah
36. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? Mr and Mrs Smith
37. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING? Blue and white
38. SUMMER OR WINTER? I live in a constant summer state so i will say winter but I would probably change my mind if I lived in a winter place...lol
39. HUGS OR KISSES? Big hugs from my kiddos...passionate kisses from hubby
40. FAVORITE DESSERT? chocolate
41. MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND? NO ONE
42. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND? EVERYONE
43. WHAT BOOKS ARE YOU READING? Sci-Fi collection, the Bible, What Really Matters
44. WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? Plain purple
45. WHAT DID YOU WATCH LAST NIGHT ON TV? The Story of My Success (Mike J fox)
46. FAVORITE SOUND? My kids laughing
47. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES? Neither....Bon Jovi
48. GOT MILK? Does Soy count?
49. DO YOU HAVE A FAVORITE TALENT? I am really good at sex...love it too
50. When/where were you born? December 1,1977 at Balboa hospital in San Diego, CA
TAG your turn!!!

My dinner

Last night for the first time in like a year I had KFC original chicken. I couldn't eat it when I was pregnant because it made me sick but we decided to have it for dinner. It was so good. And I love their rice. Yummy. The only problem is that when my daughter woke up around 1, I felt really sick. It was all the grease. I don't eat alot of greasy foods...french fries are about the extent...i even have a hard time eating pizza since I tend to stay away from them. So although it was yummy I am afraid I have to stick with their BLT salad. That sucks. And yes I probably gained back all the weight I lost since 1 piece of their chicken is like 600 calories or something like that. Oh well. It was worth it. Sort of.

Peace and Joy

I am currently reading a book called What Really Matters and one of the chapters in it is on peace and joy. After reading it I begin thinking about my sister. My youner sister. She and I were close when we were younger but when my parents divorced we grew apart. (It should be noted that I am adopted and she is my real sister; the family I currently call parents and siblings is my god family as I dont have a good relationship with my adopted parents). She stayed with my mom and I came here to Texas with my dad, I was 13 and she was 10. Our relationship grew worse when she came out here to stay with my dad one summer and moved here for awhile after 18. She dropped out of school. She started doing drugs when she was 11 (learned from my parents) was smoking at 11 too. She started drinking at 13. She harbored different views about how we grew up. She lied about me to our godfamily and for awhile my family and I weren't on speaking terms. As a result of her, I never knew what to expect with her phone calls. She eventually burned every bridge in the family; then she would want to talk to me about how everyone wronged her; how it is everbody elses' fault for how her life turned out. I used to blame myself for some of the things she did...after all I took care of her until I left. I potected her from so much. It got so bad with her phone calls that about 1 1/2 years ago I told her never to call me again...I didn't ever want to hear from her again. I would just get so depressed...I had to start therapy again because of our conversations. She just would not let go of the past. I couldn't handle her blaming me and everything she would ask about. She put so much stress on me. And now, when I think of her...i just think of the past 5 years..i used to think about when we were little and how much fun we would have. Swinging and singing paula abdul songs. We had fun growing up. But those memoirs seem so far away compared to current ones. We left on bad terms. Reading the chapter made me realize I long to find peace with her and made me make a decision to try to only think of the joyful moments between us and not the bad. I miss her very much and am sadden at the thought of never knowing how she is doing or if she is still alive. I pray and hope that she isn't using anymore; that she isn't drinking. ...that she really has her life together as she has said so many times. Sometimes I couldn't tell the lies apart. I miss the sweetness that she had...her wonderful smile. I love my sister and hope that one day I can repair our relationship. I love you sis...your big sis.

Missing Daughter

Today was Katherine's first day of school in the fourth grade. This is also the first year that she has to ride a bus. I am just used to taking her to school that it feels funny having her be on a bus.
I had a hard time without her. I got used her being home over the summer. I enjoyed it. She has grown up so much. I couldn't help but think back to when she was just a baby and toddler and how the years seem to have flown by. Back then it was just her and me...i was going to school full time and working 2 jobs and alot of the times she went to my classes with me. And when I didn't have a sitter to work my bosses would watch her (I worked graveyard and 2cnd shift at a conveinant store). Katherine and I have a special bond and I worry now that she is getting bigger how much of that bond will be left. When she turns 15 or so and can't go the cool party or date the boy of her dreams..the first time she says I hate you. Ugh. Not looking forward to it. I see her growing up...and it saddens me a little because I am losing my baby girl. She has always been my baby girl and sometimes I tend to baby her (spoil her) but I can't help it. She's my first and I learned so much from her. Its because of her I found my faith, its because of her that I survived school and work. Its because of her I grew up. I just really missed her today.

Warning: Sexual Content

Do you ever notice how babies/children have sex radar? It's like they know when you want to have sex or when you are actually having sex and thats their cue to bust in the room, start a tantrum, or wake up and be fussy, not wanting to fall back asleep.
Since Lauren has gotten better about sleeping this week, I thought it would be nice to have a nice dinner with wine and after putting the kids to bed have some romantic time with soon to be hubby. Well Lauren must have sensed that I was feeling frisky because not only did she stay awake from 6pm until midnight, once we put her down in the bassinet she woke back up, stayed up for another hour and then had to sleep on Micau's chest for the rest of the night. So needless to say, both of us were desperately needing a cold shower. Just to make you all laugh, a few nights back we thought of just grabbing a quickie...but no...we start kissing and my nine year old keeps wanting to tell us stuff. And then there is Kyle, who had a fever and really nasty diapers for like 3 days. Sexy stuff.
I don't mind having sex in 10 minutes if that is the only way i can get it; its just that it would be nice to get in some romance instead of okay we have 10 min before anyone wakes, pull down pants, do a wham bam thank ya mam, then shower time. There are a few things getting neglected on both sides that I have seriously considered just leaving for mexico and leaving the kids behind. Haha. No seriously. I really do think kids have sex radar.

Pics of the zoo

Here are some pictures of our trip to the zoo.

Wedding Help

It seems that everyone has gotten on board to plan a wedding for me. My sister who lives in CA is going to come down, which I didn't expect, so this good news. Also she is buying the girls dresses and my son a tux. I will leave it up to her taste to pick out something cute. My mom wants to have a bbq place to cater and hubby's mom know a lady who makes cakes. Since my parents want to throw a wedding, we decided to have it at hubby's parents place. They have a nice yard and balcony area that will be nice to have it at. Because of having an actual wedding, this means I have to wear a dress. Ugh. Kidding. Just seems like a hassle. So I have to start looking for one. Tought about ebay but because I am getting married in three months and losing weight I'm not sure what my size is going to be so I am looking at either renting a dress or buying one for real cheap...maybe craigs list or ebay; i think even david's bridal has some for around 100. I didn't expect anyone to make a big deal out of it...surprise surprise. Its a good surprise. ....its nice to know that people do care about it.

My New Business Maybe

I read Shape, Self, and Fitness and although they are great motivaters, at times I feel unmotivated by them. It seems like unless you work out like 2 hrs everyday and eat only steamed veggies and grilled salmon then you aren't going to lose weight. Its frustrating sometimes because they don't ever do kid friendly recipes or recipes that are under 30 min...well some of them are. These magazines really aren't geared toward women who can't afford the nanny to take care of the kids while going to the gym..or don't address people who cant afford the gym. So bright light came on in my head. Start my own magazine. It would be geared toward the working class family. Whatcha all think? I don't want to say too much because I haven't quite worked it all out yet. First I have to figure out if this would work, and how to get a magazine started, and how to put it all together blah blah blah. Could anyone give me tips on research? Not sure where to start with it. Does this sound like something you all would read? Let me know.
BTW, I changed the settings so that if you don't have an account with blogger you can post commnets. Thanks.

Getting Married

So we finally decided on a date to get married. It is on November 10 which is a Friday. We are not going to do anything special (with 3 kids it'd be kind of difficult). We are just going to go through a justice of the peace. Both of our parents live about 3 hours away and aren't willing to come here so we don't see the need to bother with a big one. His parents were happy that we aren't going to be living in sin anymore (they are big time Catholics) and I'm sure our church will be as well. My parents take it with a grain of salt. My relationships have a tendency to fall apart after a year and after all the controversy with this one they just aren't sure this is the right decision for me.
To update you all on my Jerry Springer life, my hubby to be is my ex boyfriend's brother. The ex and I were together for 2 yrs and went through alot of arguing and just plain dislikes of each other. We had a big blowup which caused the breakup and after some time away decided that my true love was here. His parents are okay with the whole thing but hope the brothers will still get along; which hasn't been too bad...my ex can be moody so if you catch him on a good day then everything is a-ok...catch him on a bad day and he hates the whole world. But I can be that way too. LOL.
So anyway, I just wanted to tell my buddies and anyone else reading that I am finally getting married. I am excited. Never done it before but I think it will be alright.

Update on kiddos

Lauren had her 2 month checkup yesterday which meant shots. She has been grouchy all day today. Won't sleep more than an hour. Hopefully tonight will be better. She weighed in at 11 pounds and 21 inches long. She looked good.
Kyle had his formal evaluation. On socialization he is at 5 months, on speech he is at 9 months and on motor skills he is at 18 months. So we will be having someone come once a week to work with him and to give us skills to work with him throughout the week. They also suggested having him seen by a neurologist to rule out any brain dysfunction/disorder and to also see an eye doctor for his balance (my son has very poor balance).
Katherine starts school on Monday and we still haven't gone school shopping. Oops. We meet her teacher on Friday. She is starting 4th grade. I can't believe how fast she is growing. Wow. My babies are getting to big on me. Sniff Sniff.

The Zoo

On Friday we went to the San Antonio Zoo which is about 2 hours from here depending on your speed. We get there at 8.00 am and it is already 80^ and about 90% humidity. By the time we leave (1.00) it is a full fledge 98^ and 98% humidity because it was supposed to rain but didn't. So remind me the next time we plan on going to the zoo not to do it in August, wait till Christmas where it will be a cool 90^. Gotta love this Texas weather. We are the only state in which one day it can be sunny and hot and the next hot and rainy.
Other than the heat and us being tired we had alot of fun. My son loved the elephants, although he seemed a little scared when they started stomping. He also enjoyed seeing all the birds fly and the monkeys climbing. They had an outdoor kids play area and wouldn't you know it, instead of playing in the teepee or banging on the bongo drum, he decides to play and push around his stroller. Ha Ha. Katherine loved everything especially the snake and lizard area, the cheetah, the lion, the tiger, the bears, oh my. She was really excited about everything. Of course Lauren was a bit fussy and had to be held for awhile but she finally grew tired enough to be put in her car seat and stay asleep for about 2 hours. So a four hour walk wasn't too bad.
I would post pictures of the zoo except that for some reason our camera isn't downloading to the computer so have to figure out that one. As soon as we get it working I will post some.

Body Envy

So I'm at the gym today (my apt complex has a really nice one) doing my workout being in my groove and while i'm on the treadmill a hot young thing comes in. Okay she wasn't that young (24/25) but she was smoking (hottie). She is about 5 6 and like 125 lbs and of course blonde (I'm sure its a dye job..lol). Anyways, she looks over at me and then starts pounding on the treadmill..I mean really running. Here I am just walking along..my 188 lbs walking and sweating. Well i get done and start working on my upper body and after only 10 min. on treadmill she starts doing her leg work. She starts doing these lunges and then squats and I'm trying not to be rude by staring but my god I do these and my butt looks nowhere near that firm or tight and it doesn't matter how many chest exercises I do my breast will never be that perky (or that small) ever. I feel like crap. Whenever I start feeling self-conscious I try to look in the mirror and find something about myself that I like. As I am staring in the mirror, I see the flab from having the baby (the baby pouch..u mommies know what i'm talking about) and think this what having 3 kids does, and i see how big my arms are, the fat around my chest and all the flabbiness in the butt and thigh areas. And then I look at my face and think...i have really healthy skin for someone my age, and of course my eyes are still beautiful. And I think about all the times my hubby tells me how beautiful and sexy I am and I think if he can touch my fat and think i am beautiful then I guess so can I. Afterall, I have to realize that something beautiful came out of that flabby pouch.
So when looking at young skinny beautiful women instead of feeling jealous of their bodies I am happy knowing that one day they too will have children, body fat, and sagging boobs..so to all of you 20-s0methings out there..HA HA.

My Son's Evaluation

My son was evaluated today by the ECI (early childhood intervention) today. So much paperwork. I have been concerned about Kyle's development since he seems to lag behind on a few things. After going through mounds of paperwork and them asking us a ton of questions turns out he is in alot of gray area for his age group and in the 18 month old category he scored low on fine motor skills, speech and socialization but normal on gross motor skills. On Monday she is coming back with a speech specialst and a occupational therapist to come out and interact with kyle to decide an intervention plan. Today she really didn't do much with him...just observed him while asking us questions. She is concerned about his speech and motor skills but thinks he isn't talking yet because of all the ear infections he had (he now has tubes in his ears) and thinks that may be the reason for the lag. We will know more on Monday.

Peaceful Moment

Yesterday was such a hectic day. My son was on destructive mode and was just plain hard to handle and my daughter wanted to be held all day. I did get some peace when kyle and katherine took a nap. I was holding Lauren in the rocking chair and it was so peaceful..no noise or chaos..just me and her rocking. She looked up at me with her big blue eyes and was smiling and laughing, and after about 30 minutes she fell asleep. So I just sat there holding here, looking at her and just thinking what a beautiful family I have. I felt so peaceful and proud to be amommy. Her little hand wrapped around mine and just thinking of the birth of each one of my children. How tiring the first few months are but also how joyful because they will never be this tiny again. Its so great to be a mommy knowing that you brought these wonderful beings into this world and knowing how dependant they are on you.

The Belly Button Factor

I know this seems like a funny topic but how often do you look at your belly button? I was taking a shower the other day and looked down and realized I hadn't washed my belly button in awhile (i know ewwww gross). Isn't it something that is easy to forget? Having been pregnant for nine months it poked out (i have an inny) and got cleaned while my belly was being cleaned; but having had given birth and dealing with a newborn it just sort of got forgotten. Besides me taking a shower involves jumping in and out, barely having time to wash my face before the baby starts crying or my toddler comes in screaming because he's not in the shower too. So when I have some help I do take some time to actually scrub (whoppee) and get clean and just happened to notice my belly button was probably having critters running around it throwing a party so I cleaned it out and now have to make a mental note not to forget about it next I am in the shower. So for all you new mommies out there, don't forget about the belly button.